Healthy, Wealthy and Whys
Why won’t all the slot machines slated to be installed at a NYRA racino have racehorse themes?
Why don’t more trainers use apprentice Victor Santiago (What’s Your Vector Victor), who ended the year on fast white fair inner dirt with a win ($25.60), a second (9-1) and two thirds (10-1, 5-1)?
Why is there still no Grade I Seattle Slew Stakes run in New York (I’m waiting for the Slew to be run at Arlington, after the Secretariat)?
Why won’t the Aqueduct Racino have a Triple Crown wheel, where you lose when you land on Birdstone or Victory Gallop?
Why are there no more Aqueduct pencils?
Why aren’t Saratoga hotels and restaurants (with patios) more friendly to dogs (I know the exceptions)?
Why can’t there be an earlier L.I. train to Belmont?
Why can’t there be Greatest NY Turf Horse Slots, with Manila and Theatrical and John Henry, with some sort of Off the Turf gimmick (blackclouds, thunderclaps, Saratoga ferocity) that costs you a turn or improve John Henry’s chances against Manila?
Why are people not noticing that Garcia is a bit like the next Cordero, Rajeeev like the next Pincay and Channing a tad like the next Jorge?
Why isn’t the OTB channel in HD?
Why can’t we watch live races on our mobile devices?
Why won’t there be New York-bred slots, two Ganders and a Funny Cide, or a Win and two Fio Ritos?
Why can’t every online betting platform cover every track?
Why doesn’t the Daily Racing Form have a TV channel?
Why don’t SAM machines accept ATM cards?
Why won’t there be a New York trainers slots machine, where you get 5x your money every time you land on a Woody Stephens?
Why doesn’t Carlos Martin get more recognition?
Why is the Breeders’ Cup not in New York every three years?
Why can’t there be rolling Pick 4s in NY?
Why aren’t there Breeders’ Cup Slots, with machines for various divisions, at every racino across the country?
Why doesn’t NYRA get more credit for its brilliant recovery from the precipice of nowhere?
Why was 2008 so cruel to our sport?
Why didn’t Big Brown face Curlin on dirt on Thanksgiving Day during halftime of the Lions game (maybe there should a HUGE race at halftimes of as many major sporting events as possible)?
Why is nobody asking me to make these racing slot machines, and who’s gonna steal my idea?
And why?
(Final TRNY Quirkycap 2008)
